1. |
Until U
01:53
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Written by Ray Noble and Performed by Hadda Brooks
I hadn't anyone
Till you
I was a lonely one
Till you
I used to lie awake and wonder
If there could ever be
A someone in this wide world
Just made for me
And now I see
I had to save my love
For you
I never gave my love
Till you
And through my lonely heart demanding it
Cupid took a hand in it
I hadn't anyone
Till you
And through my lonely heart demanding it
Cupid took a hand in it
I hadn't anyone
Till you
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2. |
All That I Want
03:25
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With her eyes glowing for direction and
both our minds showing lost connection
I saw our lives rowing towards the edge of
where relations see there ending
and ain't rescue crew to stop the sinking
when your 20,000 leagues below the sea
where that despair
inside of your heart
becomes hard to repair
and each glare you each share
suddenly turns to bleak stares
and every word you utter begins
sounding like seashells,
you repel,
she rebels,
till you understand
what she bears,
and she's wears
her flesh with uh disguise that she's your woman
but your aware of that omen
and you know that there's someone else
who owns her heart
as u continue drifting down
those lonely parts
you sing a song
that you hope she can hear
and the chorus starts
Hook:All that i want is you to be with me
And these days under the shade is killing me
feels like I've been plagued with an ill disease
on that train to willoughby
all this angst that's filling me
and this rage spills on the page
when I ink soliloquies
that I'm thinking will appease
these demons and enemies
that's seeping my energy
and creeping within my dreams
repeating in every scene
but this isn't the silver screen
everything's real as it seems
and the more this sorrow rings
it rips me at the seams
I'm simply trying to breathe
and wincing from debris
as it hits me on my sleeve
where my feelings used to be
I'm tempted to believe
that the only way through this grief
is to blow away memories
that I stowaway in my brain
as I float away in this rain
and the pain starts to settle in
the teardrops create the river that i paddle in
I hear the wind blow just before a message in
from god say "Stop bellowing because she'll never hear u when u say that"
Hook
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3. |
The Fall
02:06
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I hear you calling my name,
trapped behind a wall in my brain,
lost in a frame of a picture of pain
that I painted with the remains of
every word that you sang
before no more you became,
and it's intact and engrained,
as a stain of my imagery
insane it has driven me
through blame until my guilty plea's,
becomes nothing more but refrain's
in my memory some days the only way
I can be saved is a guillotine,
it's killing me physically and mentally
knowing I had the chance to save your life
before it slipped away
but I wasn't old enough
to understand what death was
I didn't know that when the spirit falls
it never gets up, all I remember is thinking that
you would get up and standing there
paralyzed looking on in fear of the unknown,
confused thinking whats wrong?
my auntie crying to the sky
for you to come home,
but you were long gone,
and ever since that day
I've found it extremely hard for me to go on
(go on),
sometimes I even hear your ghost call saying to me
Hook:Reach for me
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4. |
Autumn (interlude)
01:03
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5. |
Bad Weather Days
04:30
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When the rain comes(comes)
It pours and it pours
for days, weeks, and years,
streaks of tears all I've known
I've longed for the sun to veer away
from the patch of clouds that hides the smiles
and inspires the frowns
when I look in the back in my mind
I see nothing but grey and black in my skies
and I know that when I lift up my eyes
I'll find
Hook:When the rain comes down (Baby)
it comes down, comes down,
comes down, comes down,
it comes down(Baby),
it comes down, comes down,
comes down, comes down,
it comes down(Baby),
it comes down, comes down,
comes down, comes down,
it comes down(Baby),
it comes down, comes down,
comes down, comes down
I find myself(drifting, drifting)
through these mental states I'm shifting
slip-in in no specific direction
steady trying to grip this
stress up off of my chest
but its to heavy too hard to lift it
sometimes I find a way to bypass
and disregard the physics
but, but I'm living so slightly off my pivot
everyday seems there's a million more problems
i have to deal with I'm puffing on the gunja
until it amplifies the illness
I keep refusing the stone
they trying to give me to build with
lost my angel my princess
but that looks like an insect
compared to the scars on my heart
I already have to live with
yet I'm trapped in resentment
knowing that yesterday is so far away
from tomorrow we can't recapture that feeling
damn my eyes are drizzling and I think the clouds
are shifting (my way, my way, my way)
and I'm not resistant
I know the suns existing
somewhere off in the distance
and it's probably shining at my expense
because I know
Hook
My mind is so clouded enshrouded
in doubt it's flying on auto-pilot
spiraling out of control in dyer need of re-routing
I need to pick up the phone get gods number
and dial it but his signals keeps getting crossed
with the devils i think he tapped us
sabotaging my plans way in advance
to advance theres a heavy chance
of showers heading towards my town
and it only piles on and drowns this
overcrowded metropolis of thoughts
that's locked in my vaults of limbo
where no one can find them
until I'm extracted from time
and my soul no longer will bear
all the wear and tear that defines me
and the reaper can't stand behind me
I'll sit inside of my prison
i've built with so much assistance
and do my time with no crying
until I've finished my sentence
and once I'm free of the dimness
i'll look down at the abyss
and stare at all of those
who never made it up out of their pits
and shed a couple tears of empathy
simply cus I know how it feels living in the heat
Hook x2
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6. |
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7. |
From A Great Height
03:21
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It's been uh hell of a year
I've cried a well full of tears
for my sorrows tomorrow is never to clear
that's the motto that floats with me
as I drown in this bottle of distilled vodka
trying to keep my windshields as clear as possible
but irresponsible my actions speak
as every cloud that floats above my head
becomes black and bleak
there ain't a mountain high enough
when u at your peak
but that phrase sounds different
when u fall and crash to sea
and your swimming in mistakes
within the waves of defeat
and you can't find the land
you try to breath but you sink
then weep and you think
how you made it to uh bottom that's bottomless
and how your summer times was taken over
by autumn's winds then winter comes
and it gets colder
all u can do is reflect
and pray springs around the next corner
but know that some never see the sun again
so never let yourself become one of them.
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8. |
The Little Death
03:32
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(Yo) and it ain't been much,
time since we lied and embraced each touch
and found that in every single way we love,
we lose apart of us that creates that rush,
We lose apart of us that creates that lust,
and we lose apart of that which creates what's us,
we use our artifacts to elate what's crushed,
and subdue the horror that simply makes us dust,
It's like living to die or rather dying to live,
i knew she wanted to when she looked into my lens,
I knew she wanted to when she took hold of
my hands and I knew she wanted to when
she traced over my skin(softly)
as she figured me out,
deciphered the words of my calligraphy mouth,
enticed by the worth I could potentially have,
she whispered in my ears
Hook:Come Die With Me (x4)
So as we exchanged hearts
laying side to side in this lovely little graveyard,
I see her spirit escape her, as I take her to a place
that you never get to graduate from,
it's a high, a sensation your body is absorbed in
just before it goes into postmortem,
and releases endorphins for your enjoyment,
feels like you soaring,
aboard this mental plane of orbit,
Her sores went away, she settled into place,
decided that here she forever wanna stay,
she stared into me with a rare synergy
and she said before I peaked
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9. |
Lucy
02:49
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Met her at a young age
she was selling herself for chump change
just to make a way
mommy used to tell me stay away
she's nothing but a product of the devil
to deconstruct you in every
single way that you let her
but I was a hard head with a hard head
burning with desire simply yearning just to try her
as I'm turning all my tires
towards the dead end driving away from perceptions,
thinking she could be my prescription
I got 99 problems that I live with
and if I had her in my life maybe she could fix them
or maybe she could give me something worthwhile
and kill this loneliness I feel like the first child
and I can't help but look at her smile
and I can't help but take in her smell
maybe someday I'll catch her to herself
and tell her how I really feel because
Hook:I always wanted her to be mines
I thought that the day I got her I would be fine
I always thought she could make the rain delay
and take the pain away and everything would be fine
From a far distance
I played secret admirer eyeing the way
she calmed the nerves of those buying her
she stayed with a pack of a-alikes
but they say every pack ain't the same
so they ain't alike
but I knew she was the best of the best
because her name on the streets rang
more then the rest
they say she was cheap
but you'd enjoy her the best
because her kiss on the lips
was like first step of death
relaxing and kinda like a vaccine
in the way she makes you
forget about whats happening
her love fills your lungs with joy and stress leaves
is that something that you'd like?
yes please.....when can I get my shot?
That's me speaking with my virgin mind
ready for my 1st time with this dime
my homie h-cho introduced me to her
but......I felt I already knew her because
Hook
A few weeks later
I'm sitting at home with a watch
waiting by the phone
she said she'd call by 8 o clock
I'm waiting just to answer
I'm waiting just to ask her
can i be the man in her life?
but time came and went
I didn't hear a thing
I later found out from a friend
that she'd begun a fling
with a new guy
and it really broke my heart
it took a month just to re-piece the broken parts
and get over it, there's more fish in the sea right?
and imma good man
so there's someone meant for me right?
Went to the corner store
after seeing a movie
and met a chick at the register
her name was lucy
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10. |
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Too many nights,
too many fights
to keep you off my mind
and convince myself imma be alright
(and cease yearning),
Love wasn't there i sub'd it for despair,
and started crying till I realized
that this feeling isn't real, when I close my eyes
will I see you up in heaven? Or in hell
I don't care where I am going
I just want you by my side,
just to look inside those pretty eyes,
that'll always make me feel everything's ok
when I know it's not
I thought that it would last forever
didn't expect such badly severed
ties to be donned around my neck,
At times it's hard to think about and
process the guilt I feel for second-handedly
destroying everything we built, It was the Jealousy, over-Zealotry, and my constant crave
and want obsessively for you to relish me and
cherish me, care for me, stare at me, marry me
and bear with me because our time on earth
is only distributed scarcely
Too many nights,
too many fights
to keep you off my mind
and convince myself imma be alright
(and cease yearning),
Love wasn't there i sub'd it for despair,
and started crying till I realized
that this feeling isn't real, when I close my eyes
will I see you up in heaven? Or in hell
I don't care where I am going
I just want you by my side,
just to look inside those pretty eyes,
that'll always make me feel everything's ok
when I know it's not
Nothings there,
nothings here,
I'm knocking on your door
until I get an answer,
but why am I here?
Why are you there?
this feeling's a disease
I think that this is cancer
And there's no cure, rest assure,
I'm only living comfortably
within these mantras and this is pure,
I have no fear I know i'll feel this way
till time has finally passed us
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11. |
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12. |
From Grace
04:49
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She spoke in a injured tone,
her words were "I'm alone"
her blurbs of monologue
were blurs of monochrome,
surging from the phone was hurt
there's something wrong, he heard and tried to calm but his words could not resolve or console
this withered and young soul as her feelings
just unfolds and deliberately unloads the silence
that symbolizes the distance they both owned
and piece by piece they lost something
that was once gold
This story was once told
inside of a pair of eyes,
owned by a woman who
no longer could bear to smile,
sheered by a man who
stood under his parents cries
and fell down those same stairs
becoming as paralyzed
she found that somewhere in time
the joy they once shared had died
and every high hope
was suddenly nowhere to be found
from the ground, she stared up at him
as he continued looking down,
and said it all without a sound
It's quite amazing
how much our natures have changed
and how our looks in the eye
no longer show what we made,
but more so the separation that lays
in between both our hearts that we once agreed
we would chain, and although we have lost
so much we gained, I find within the pain
an appreciation's retained,
I want you to know that until I'm laid
to rest I'll always be thankful that you came,
you made me a better person
even though I at first could only see just worse
when in actuality what was hidden behind
those curtains buried inside my hurting
was a needed lesson learned and
I admit that I earned it, and I will lift from this
certain that who I'm staring at in this mirror
has been refurbished,
i toss every sheet
that i held a grudge on in furnace,
I now understand why you looked at me
and your heart said
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13. |
The Clouded Mind
04:26
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Ayo I decided to take a walk in the rain,
to get a couple things off of the brain
yo this world is insane sometimes
it feels like this shit just can't be real life,
more like a film and i just didn't get the script right and you don't get a second chance
when the lens is on so all performance errors
you make u gotta live with all, I've made enough
to never get an oscar nom from the voters poll
living on this supposedly golden globe,
where so many have sold they soul
for a piece of paper, and many more have lost their hearts to a piece of nature,
I fall more in the latter category
and if I had to rap my story to you
It would start at the age of 16 when I was
just a creature thinking major bout this wish/dream
of mine to hold a mic and get a pay stub
thinking imma be the illest cat to ever grace the
cover of the mags and moms could finally quit
her day job, but little did I know that things would take a different turn, I was naive to it all simply
chasing what I yearned, I was a kid playing with fire
i had to get some burns before I put them matches down the only way I was gon learn,
was to experience the heartaches and heartbreaks
this art takes us on while we drive till our car breaks
now some chose to speed but keep your feet
on your car brakes because nothing is ensured
and it's hard to make it in all states,
especially when no one believes in your faith
and all u here is you can't, and even those who say you can want you to be what you ain't,
The art galleries ain't accepting the pictures you paint, because they ain't feeling the direction of that
in which you aim, and all you wanna do is share
these stories in your soul,
and you know this music shit the only way
they can be told, your standing year after year
steady getting older and everything about the world around you getting colder plus you moving
home to home feeling all alone
and from auntie to moms house
so that means different schools and
you try to make friends but u become the loner,
because you don't get to see these people
for no more then four months, it gets so rough
I swear as I was growing up I always thought
that everything gets better as a growner up
but I was wrong cus what you think Is easy
as a young folk only amplifies in time
and gets hard as fuck and look at me
I had to mess around and fall in love
wasn't trying but the lady had me from her first step
I could barely catch my first breathe
to say something to her it was such a struggle
just to finally get those words out
but yo it worked out the conversation
felt like sure shots from cupid with his bow and arrow to insert love, and at our first touch
I knew she was the one for me
we drove that car as far as we could take it
before it turned off, and as I search on
for something more in this world
I think about everything I learned from that girl,
and every twist and turn that has occurred on this trail, and every single scar that I have earned as I've lived, it's been a long long journey but I'm still here,
along with my mother and brother yo they still here, shout out to best friends h-cho and reb
we all in the same war and yo we will win
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14. |
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15. |
By Your Side (Outro)
02:00
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And i'll be by your side whenever you need me,
I will not let you go, let you go, let you go, let you go.
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